Roleplaying Problems
by Icarus Aurora
Summary: Sejuani really has trouble trying to stop Jayce from smashing


Roleplaying Problems

Crickets chirped through the air. It was the only sound in the entire forest, echoing around the party moving through it. They moved silently, their garb as varied as possible as they pushed aside leaves, ferns and branches that were in their way. They were travelling a lesser known path. Ahead, an ancient ruined temple. It was said that a necromancer was performing foul deeds in such a place and these adventurers had come out to stop him.

There were, currently, seven people walking through the forest in a single line. The man leading the way was none other than Jayce Brighthammer. A paladin heralding from the city of progress. He carried a huge hammer that, rumour had it, had magical properties to change form into different weapons. He was covered in a serious amount of armour, plated masterpieces covering every stretch of him apart from his handsome head. The blue garments of his order hung over the metal, ragged from battles. His Warhammer on his shoulder clasped in a steel gauntlet, he led the adventurers through the forest, unfortunately pulling branches back too far and causing them to smash into the adventurer behind him.

The man behind Jayce was a big man. Huge in fact. He was Gragas Caskbreaker and he did not need to be told he was fat for he knew it quite well. A cleric of the sun he was used to eating the finer things in life and so the weight gain had not troubled him. A kind and exuberant man at heart he wore his vestments over his scale armour with pride, his red shaggy beard making up for the hair that was missing from the top of his head. He walked with pride, the sun emblazoned on his chest. In one hand he carried his barrel, said to be unbreakable and endless in its fluids. What magic had made this, people dare not say what sort of magic causes something to become infinite. He walked behind the paladin and was getting extremely annoyed at being hit in the face over and over again because of the unthinking paladin. He had begun to grumble and was fingering his cup already in preparation for a drink.

Next was the elf known as Varus Swiftbolt. The most distinctive trait was not the ears but instead the eyes. They glowed in the darkness. It was said that he had been permanently contaminated by the experiments of Greybeard, the wizard who had gone mad for power. A ranger wielding a huge longbow he talked amicably with the other elf of the party. His leather armour covered most of his drapings, the drapings hiding the effects of what the contamination did. His long red cloak and hood often caught on the brambles and branches, his ornate bow slung across his back. He was looking up and often not watching where he was going as he was entranced by his partner's great beauty.

The reason why he was looking up was because the only other elf was not taller, but instead riding a massive lion. She was Sejuani Dawnchaser, one of the few elves that had taken to riding such might beasts. A fighter heralding from a far off elven tribe she had found her way to the bigger cities, subduing the beast she now rode on the way. Her fair skin contrasted against the dark hues of Swiftbolt's but they shared the same ears. Many attributed this to elvish ears mostly looking alike but those of keener eyes and possibly wilder imaginations claimed that they were brother and sister, each having gone with different adventuring parties. Sejuani smiled at the elf below her, a more playful yet unusually destructive elf she was but she too had a loving heart. A circlet with a sapphire embellished in the very centre of it adorned her head, her medium length white hair dancing around her face only broken by her ears. She wore very light armour, her top white and her leggings green. In one hand she held the reins of her might beast, the other held her mace that sparkled. Legends say she had prized it from the fingers of a long dead frost troll and had smashed the Bridge over the Abyss their enemies had been chasing them across, casting them down with the rubble. She rubbed the mane of her lion who pushes forwards, the great brown beast making the path much easier for those behind the pair.

This was of great benefit of the oldest of the group. Usually grumpy, the wizard often had complaints about absolutely anything. With nothing to actually grumble about he merely simmered as he walked through the flattened path, watching the lion's tail with suspicion. Ryze Whitebeard was, by now, an old man. As an old adventurer he had seen a lot which had made him appreciate the ability to sit down and fall asleep in a padded bed rather than on the ground. It was believed that staff he had on his back was an old Archangel staff. He was considered one of the mightiest wizards in the land yet had a tendency of getting on everyone's nerves. He wore simple robes, usual leather adventuring garments nothing more. The only things that did give away his status was his hat, staff, books, scrolls, well there was a lot that gave it away. Yet underneath it all he was just another adventurer. He ran a hand through his bread as he walked, muttering to himself as his feet clomped along the path.

The last two adventurers were in fact talking to one another though the usual man would never have been able to understand what the gaudy one of the two said. A curious creature it was, covered in bells and looking like a maestro. The creature's name was Bard. Bard Bard to be completely corrected. Bard Bard was a bard heralding from a land unknown though many believe it to be some form of changeling, others believe it is some form of energy with a conscious. It mattered not to his travelling companions he almost skipped along as they walked, his voice nothing but the melody of music coming forth in a broth of beautiful tones. His costume was definitely the most eye-catching of the entire party's, his red outfit had shit ruffles added into it, bells were on his cuffs as ruffles spilled out there as well, over his back he had a giant ornately carved brass horn along with a small ukulele and on the top of it all, he had a hat. A cavalier hat with a giant red feather stuck in the top of it. On the darkness that was his head he wore a golden mask. He did perhaps bond the best with his rear guard companion the best because they both had… followers. For Bard he was being followed around by little things called Meeps. Little beings of light they had, with their own sense of humour, started copying Bard's look, wearing their own cavalier hats and masks on their red glowing bodies.

Poros were the admirers of the next man. Now you may not know what poros are so I shall explain. Poros are what happens when you take a ram and combine it with a lemming. Such adorableness at an idiotic expense. Due to him constantly saving the poros, the man with the great shield had become their idol and they followed him continuously to their own expense. This leads, of course, to him saving them all again time after time. Braum Lionheart was probably the most heavily build man in the party and as the knight this was to be expected. He easily dwarfed Bard Bard and stood taller than Varus Swiftbolt. He was also the man who laughed the most in the group. Endless in his optimism he carried a giant shield on his back and wore the heaviest armour of the group of adventurers. Trimmed with the gold of the royal decree, a poro sat on his shoulder, tongue hanging out like it so usually does. The massive shield had the face of a lion carved into the front of it. As he walked he twirled his luxurious moustache, a common factor of their party.

The party continued on through the forest. Thick with branches, undergrowth it made for hard going to walk through along a barely visible path. Moss covered everything from tree trunks, the ground to dead bodies. They barely blinked when they passed it, having expected it from the very beginning. Jayce Brighthammer wanted to take out his Warhammer and start clearing a better route through but was quickly shot down by the other party members. The light slowly flitters in in rays through the underground. They can tell by the angles of such rays that it's getting to late evening and night will be upon them soon.

Suddenly, the trees stop and they find themselves in a circular clearing.

In the middle of it, a stone temple. The light seems to bend away from it, the shadows it casts are longer, the hue from the sun darkens. The party mill about at the entrance of the clearing then Jayce Brighthammer steps forwards again, leading the way. With a slam of his staff, the orb in Whitebeard's staff lights up as the glow in Swiftbolt's eyes become more apparent. The meeps mill around the legs of the party, glowing softly as the walk towards the great doors of the temple. There, in front of it, stands a huge golem, standing in the stone entrance. It appears dormant but they're cautious never the less. Caskbreaker lights a torch and holds it aloft as he tries to slip past it. He doesn't and gets stuck between the arch and the golem. With a little help from Lionheart he manages to squeeze past the golem. The rest swiftly follow, Dawnbringer having to get out and allow her lion to slip underneath the golem's legs.

They stand in front of the doorway. The quickly arm themselves, heaving their weapons into their hands. An arrow is placed on the string, the Warhammer off the back, the horn pressed to lips ready, the tome of knowledge now open with runes glowing.

"Time to meet and old friend," Says Brighthammer, pulling his hammer back.

"Wow wow wow! Okay firstly this was meant to be a secret and second, you're just going to announce our presence when we could get the drop on him?" Sejuani turns to Jayce who is currently holding a twelve sided dice inbetween his fingers.

"I mean I'm fine with whatever but I think we should at least talk to the lich," Braum interjects, slurping out of a cup.

"Hey it's my character. I'm going to smash this lich's head in after he betrayed us," Jayce says furiously clenching the dice.

Ryze rolls his eyes "So did we hear the fact you've a relationship to the thing that's trying to kill us all?"

"We haven't even been scouting ahead," Varus mutters, looking over his character sheet.

"We should take this slowly! What about traps?" Sejunai yells.

"We're wearing heavy armour! How're we gonna go silently through all of this?!" Jayce yells back, placing the dice very carefully buy very furiously on the table.

Bard burbles out something.

Karthus rolls his eyes and stretches out, looking over everything from behind the DM screen. He grasps another handful of snacks from out of the bowl in front of them. He chews on the gummie bears as he watches this all go down. This was a usual sight in their sessions, those two arguing. They had only recently put the groups together into one massive 7 man party, Veiger having to leave for a couple of weeks but they still wanted to continue playing, so it had been a muddle to say the least.

Bard burbles something again.

"We can't keep just charging into every boss!" Sejuani shouts, trying to slam down on the table but unwilling to upset the board.

"guys-"

"You're riding a lion and you want us to tiptoe into every place?!" shouts back Jayce.

"I want you to at least stop spilling all of our secrets to everyone we meet!"

"Gu-"

"I'm playing my character! Don't you have anything to say to Lightsbane?!"

"Guys!" Gragas roars. The entire room goes silent except for the ticking of the clock. Gragas coughs and gets up, walking over to the front door.

"Bard says the doorbell is going. Pizza has arrived," Varus points out getting up and walking over to the kitchen. "Hey Karthus," He yells through the corridor connecting the rooms "Where are the plates?"

"Paper ones are in the bottom left cupboard on the second shelf in it," He yells back "Hang on, I'll come help," He stands up, his bones clicking. "Come on Jayce, you can get the nades,"

Jayce, with a grumble, stands up and follows Karthus out into the corridor.

"What're nades? Like grenades?" Ryze asks, turning to Sejuani.

"Pop, basically. It's what Karthus calls them. Lemonade, Cherryade, orangeade, you know. So they're just "Nades" to him," Sejuani shrugs and leans back. She quickly turns and helps Gragas place the pizza on the table carefully "Full deluxe cheese?"

Bard raises his hand. Sejuani raises an eyebrow.

"Why?"

Bard burbles back.

"I mean, just cheese,"

Another burble.

"Alright alright, you like cheese,"

"Someone order veggie?" Braum sniffs the pizza "Smells good actually,"

"It is," Sejuani says, looking through each box for her own. "I give him crap about it but their veg pizzas are amazing,"

Varus walked back into the room with plates and started handing them out to everyone. He sat down and pulls his own pizza to him. Karthus and Jayce soon followed in carrying more bowls of snacks and massive 2 litre bottles of fizzy drinks. Jayce gracefully start pouring what peopled wanted. Even to Sejuani he was back to usual. Everything was silent as everybody ate, Ryze putting on some music to fill up the empty space and so they didn't just have to listen to Sejuani and Gragas's messy eating. Pizza boxes were thrown into a corner as chocolate was freely thrown about and drinks were downed.

Everyone sat up.

Everyone was ready.

Karthus smiled.

"You're standing in front of the massive wooden doors to the temple. What do you do?" He asked, already knowing what was going to happen.

"I-" Jayce grimaced in pain suddenly, his body tensing up.

"We open the door carefully and ask for Lionheart to go first," Sejuani said with gritted teeth as she squeezed Jayce's shoulder painfully. The others smiled, their own plans in their head on how to cause a Murphy.

"Well then," Karthus smiled and picked up a twenty sided dice "Let's see what happens,"

* * *

 **Hiya people, I just did this one cause I thought it would be fun to do. Depression was making it a bitch today but I'm just glad I got to do it. Getting there slowly. Very slowly, wish me luck with job interviews and such.**


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